Watchman

I have been thinking on the move lately so my post will be long today as its notes that iv written down.

Have you ever felt so fully detached from everyone in such a busy that even when you are surrounded by hundreds of people that you can feel so alone yet so crowded at the same time, its the strangest feeling, you feel like you want to belong in in a place but you really cant even if you really try hard to, it just doesn't work. That's how i feel when i leave my house, it isn't how i am meant to feel by the constraints of normal humanity, but yet it still happens. You get the impression that the world and society wants you to be in a certain place but the people in that place don't want you around, not even the people you want to be around and spend your time with. I wrote all of this in the one club in town, i use the term club loosely. It must look so strange but it feels so natural for me to be able to just detach myself from the world, even if i am surrounded by all of my so called 'friends' have you ever just sat and watched people who are drunk?? its like your own private human social experiment, people arnt that fussed that they put on a show all the other time that you see them, but when they are drunk you can see the real side to them. When i was wrighting all of this down i was sat in a corner unable to escape, but i was watching all the people who had paired up or made their little groups, and then there was me, no one was talking to me they just kinda lance over me, it allowed me to to watch the world turn and the people all slowly grind on the same way that they always do, its so repetitive, i wish people would realise that sometimes you dont have to do what you think is rite by society but actually what you want to do, you may get frowned on for a while but if those so called 'friends' are worth a dam then really they wont care. Maybe im not here for the same reasons as everyone else maybe im just meant to watch. I love her. Watching does nothing if you cant learn from what you see, maybe i should start to act on what i know about people, but then i mite start turning into a real human and that could leave more scars upon my heart.

I wrote almost all of that in a club, i was impressed, still am come to think of it, i actually have a subject for anyone out there reading this for my next post.....Im going to be thinking about Hate and Love, there's summit to look forward to.

+++Walk softly, And carry a big gun+++