One Of The Summer Tales

This will just be short as i need to go clean myself up for i have turned into a painted man, i thought i had recovered from how i was when i started to do this blog but i have lost my sole mate to someone who do-sent deserve or need them. Im so in love with her i don't know what to do any more, maybe letting the hate build up is really my only way forwards.

+++Maim, Kill, Burn+++

That Special Person.......

When she pushes you or hits you like a dummie cause she thinks shes

stronger than you

Grab her and dont let go

When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough

Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet

Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you

Give her your attention

When she pulls away

Pull her back

When you see her at her worst

Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying

Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking

Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared

Protect her

When she steals your favorite hoodie

Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you

Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time

reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt

Back yourself up

When she says that she loves you

she really does more than you can understand

When she grabs at your hands

Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you;

bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret

keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes

dont look away until she does

When she says it's over

she still wants you to be hers

- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her because ten years later she'll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

-Treat her like she's all that matters to you

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes

-When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

-Let her know she's important.

- Don't talk about other girls around her

- Kiss her in the pouring rain

.....You in all ways.....

+++Honour, Love, Truth, Beauty, For these reasons a man should fight+++

Iv Finally Figured Out My Dysfunction

Iv done it finally done it, iv finally worked out my complete dysfunction, i know what has made me into a monster so i know parts of my mentality need to be killed off so i will come over as the real person that i want to be seen as and maybe regain my true heart as its because of the loss of her iv have actually searched what is wrong with me instead of just trying to bury any feeling that i think is bad, im so sick of it all, i cannot stand feeling like i want to die every day and that the only way to deal with anything is to destroy myself with any means at my disposal.

The worst thing is that it has taken me a solid four days of drinking myself to death to finally unlock what i truly is inside the dark remnants of my heart and soul, i know what the problem is and i will purge it from me. In the last four days i let my depression get the better of me and i had slipped fully into the depravity of my mind and chose to rape what is left of me. in the last four days i have drunk over two litres of whiskey, a bottle of absinthe, alot of hours in pubs and drinking other peoples beer, but it has actually helped me think for the first time ever instead of not helping at all. This all started in the recent days when i lost my true heart and soul, the girl that i know inside me is my soul-mate, i know what i feel inside, iv been in love before but this time was different, it wasn't just enjoying the company of her, or thinking that she beautiful this time tho i could actually feel myself enjoying who she really was connecting on a deeper level than i have ever willingly gone to before, she could make my heart sore and my soul cry, we matched in such a way that i will not find anywhere but in my dreams. My one aim in life now is to find the way to prove to her that i truly do want to be with her and only her, and i believe that is what i want for the rest of my life long days, that is my crusade, my penance, and my suffrage.

I have been the fool for too long now, and iv had my final tick, from here on in i will never be the bad guy again, it costs two much on me and everyone else who is around me, and the people who i care about the most get hurt too, all i ever wanted to do was make people happy but i don't ever seem too not hurt people, so the buck stops here!

I will never want what i don't have any more or think that im missing out on anything, i think that as people we are made in matching sets completely designed to be with one another. I know that i love her, and i know that its more than just a little fling, this is true Deep-from-the-heart and eternal. She has managed to completely put me under her spell, the tortures that i am racking onto myself are a way of making me suffer physical not just mental pain for the hurt i did to her, my love, the one.

+++The Penitent man knee's as he prays for forgiveness+++